MAN COURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: WEY ME STULLA AN STULLESHA (HATE DIS WORD) DEM DEY??!! RAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

MAN COURTERS, LET'S ADDRESS THE ISSUES OF 'FURLONG', MARATHAN, LONG DISTANCE STULLA I.E HOW LONG IS LONG ENOUGH DURING SEX. I MEAN, IS THERE A SET TIME, TIMER, TIMING, WHEN HAVING SEX?

MEN ARE CRITIZED WHEN THEY CAN ONLY LAST 1, 2 OR EVEN 5 MINUTES!! ARE THEY ALSO CRITIZED WHEN THEY LAST 1, 2 OR EVEN 5 (WELL, I AM JUST PUSHING IT) HOURS?

WHAT, IN YOUR OPINION, IS AN IDEAL 'TIME' FOR SEX TO LAST? IS IT EVEN ABOUT TIMING OR AS LONG AS IT FEELS GOOD/ALRIGHT/NICE?

Foot Notes: By SEX I mean intercourse; at this time I am moving to exclude foreplay.

MAN COURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: HOPE EVERY ONE HAD A PLEASANT EASTER AND PUT GOD FIRST AN NOT BUN! GOD ABOVE DEM...SEE CASE BELOW:

Good Day

Man Court

! I really don’t know where to start. When I was 18, I met my cousin’s boyfriend from overseas for the first time in Jamaica. Long story short, we ended up sleeping together. We had an affair for a good 3-4 years. I never feel bad in the beginning cuz she was always cheating on him and she made it so obvious too. At one point, I must have been out of my mind cuz I really wanted him and ended up telling him about her indiscretions and all give him some strong evidence too. But him confront har an dem still together. Finally, me an him jus mess around and hardly ever talk. He is no saint either cuz he had crazy girls that she knew about too. I am in no position to judge I know that. It’s been more dan 10 years now since it happened. My conscience a beat me bad and I was just wondering if I should tell her what happened, just to come clean and move on. She prlly won’t talk to me for the rest of her life and I honestly don’t want that. Do you think I should just let it stay how it is?

P.S. He never tried anything after – we’ve kept it pretty standard.

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: GOOD MORNING MAN COURTERS!! YOU HAVE A SET A GAL AN BIG WOMAN WHO LOVE RUN BACK A PPL AN GAL WEY DEM NO KNOW FROM JUMP STREET! DEN DEM GWAN LIKE DEM A LOOK NEX GAL FI RECRUIT PON DEM BAND WAGON - LISTEN ME CROSSES, TIAD FI TELL UNU SAY ME NO CHEER FI GAL...SOME A UNU A LICKLE GAL INNA BIG GAL BODY!!! SEE CASE BELOW:

"Good Morning Man Courters! Here’s my case…Me is a big woman wid 4 big sons – my kids dem big big big, dem a big ppl wid dem kids an all dese tings. Now, me have a lickle young bwoy wey me an him a gwan wid a ting pon di regular but sons don’t know bout it or else dem would kill him! Me respect my family an my husband but my husband well sick, inna home an cyan do nutten. Me a human wid needs an feelings an me no wan no man my age fi come drop a sleep pon me – me want a young man fi come hackle me body!! Me know ppl ago say dis an dat but dis a my life an me ago live it how me want to. Me wan sit me sons dem down an tell dem bout me lickle man but me not sure how much details me must tell dem. Suppose dem all wan meet him an all dese tings?? Wey unu tink?"

MAN COURT IN SESSION; ALL RISE: HAPPY BDAY TO ME, HAPPY BDAY DEAR STACYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY HAPPY BDAY TO ME!!! ME GRANNY ALWAYS SAY - TOO MUCH A ONE TING IS GOOD FI NUTTEN...MAMA KNOWS BEST!

"Hello Man Court. Me have a lickle problem me wan drop inna di court. Afta me help dis yute get him docs, him no wan work. Everyday is a different excuse. Me an him live together and it has always been me paying for everything. Never bothered me so much then cuz me know say tru him nah no papers, him cyaan work so me get 2 jobs fi gwan hold down the bills. Now him get tru and nutten him nah look bout. Him cyaan not even buy a pin!! Lazy is not even di word!! Me siddung an talk to me, me an him reason an him gwan like him understan but nex day same ting! Me reach me last straw an me cyaan tek it nomore. Me done know what needs to happen here, I guess me jus a try fi hear wha other ppl woulda do in this situation."

MAN COURT IN SESSION; ALL RISE: PRAISES BE TO THE MOST HIGH EVERYTIME!! CAN WE JUST GET TO DI NITTY GRITTY OF TINGS HERE....LET'S PROCEED...

IN LIGHT OF RECENT EVENTS, I MUST/NEED TO KNOW IF WHAT THEY SAY IS TRUE. YOU KNOW HOW SOME MAN BRAG HOW MUCH GAL DEM HAVE, HOW DEM HOOD WELL BIG AN HOW DEM CAN FUCK GOOD? YES, UNU KNOW DEM MAN DEM MAN...WELL, FROM TIME, ME ALWAYS HEAR SAY DI MAN DEM WEY GWAN SO 99% A DI TIME CANNOT DO JACK SHIT, DOH HAVE NO HOOD BUDDY AN ANY AMOUNT A GAL DEM HAVE DEM IS DOING SOMETHING ELSE TO KEEP DEM AROUND OR HAPPY.

TODAY, I WOULD LIKE TO ASK THE COURT TO SPEAK ON THIS MATTER, OFCOURSE, DI MAN DEM AGO RUN AN SAY HOW SOME GAL FRONT BIG RAY TAY TAY BUTTTTTT MORE MEN BRAG ABOUT DEM ABILITIES DAN WOMEN - ME NO FEEL SAY A WOMAN AGO TELL A MAN WEY A LOOK HAR HOW SHE TIGHT AN CAN WINE, ME RIGHT OR ME RIGHT?? BUT A MAN WILL TELL TELL A WOMAN HOW HIM HAVE 12 INCH A WAIT PON HAR AN WHEN SHE REACH 12 AS IN 1+2 INCHES = 3!!!

MAN COURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: DEM WAN KNOW HOW WE DID IT BUT WE DID - RESTLESS OF TIMES WE BEEN TRU IT! TRU WE HOUSE AN WE CAR DEM LEGITTTT ABAYYYYYYYY!!!

"Good Morning Judge. Big up da Court yah str88888888888888!!! Me have a little issue an jus a wonder if unu can gimme some advice. Bout 2 years ago one a me close bredren drop out an leave him babymadda wid 3 yute. Cuz di yute dem did so young when him dead me did a gwan help har out wid dem an ting. So me an har get close an ppl start say tings but nutten like dat yuh zee me. From wha day doh, me notice how she start move away when man dey bout like she want a ting fig wan fi me an har. Man kinda iffy dem way dem tru a man bredren girl an ting but man like har too. Me wan know if unu feel say a vilation if me an har get involved? Me check fi har an di yute dem an a jus 1 yute me get still – but deep inside man feel away like jus tru a man fren girl it wrong yuh zee me?"

MAN COURT IN SESSION; ALL RISE: IN LIGHT OF RECENT EVENTS, ME A MEK UNU KNOW SAY RESPECT IS DUE TO *ALL* MAN COURTERS AND ESP. DI JUDGE NOT TO MENTION THE LINK IS POSTED ON MY FB. I MUST COMMEND THOSE WHO CONTINUE TO SHOW TO SHOW RESPECT FOR THE COURT - BIG UP - BUT ME NO WAN INNA TUN INNA DI MANNATT AFFAIR ZEEN?!!

 "LET'S TALK ABOUT ONE OF THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH SEX BECAUSE OF THE MANY DESCRPITIONS OF IT - WE'LL JUST TALK ABOUT A CERTAIN ASPECT (IF UNU CAN STAY ON TRACK AND NOT GET CARRIED AWAY). RECENTLY, I HAD A CONVERSATION WITH ABUNCH OF GIRLS ABOUT SEX: I TOLD THEM OF MY EXPERIENCE WID A BIG BUDDY AN HOW BIG HOOD NO REALLY GET WELL STIFF BUT RATHER FLUFFY AN STABLE; SHOW DEM A PIC TOO AN DEM SAY ME BRAVE - OH WELL...MAYBE BY US COVERING THIS TOPIC WE CAN BRING SOME PPL OUT OF THEIR SHELLS?"

HOW IMPORTANT ARE SEXUAL POSITIONS TO THE SEX ACT?

HOW MANY OF YOU ACTUALLY DEVICE A STRATEGY BEFORE SEX? E.G. ME AGO QUINT IT UP AN COCK IT UP...ETC ETC

AND JUST HOW MANY PPL REALLY THINK THEY ARE GOOD AT HAVING SEX (MEN EXCLUDED - UNU TINK UNU A DI BEST - POOR SOULS)

WARNING: ANY PERSONAL ATTACKS ON ANY MEMBER OF THE COURT WILL NOT BE PUSSYCLAAT TOLERATED! ME SAY SO!!

MAN COURT IN SESSION; ALL RISE: TODAY'S TOPIC WILL BE A LITTLE DIFFERENT - NOT A CASE BUT JUST GENERAL QUESTIONS FOR THE WOMEN AND OFCOURSE, THE MEN ARE FREE TO SHARE THEIR 2 CENTS OR HOWEVER MUCH DEM HAVE LEF - LOL!!

WHY DOES A WOMAN REALLY AN TRULY DON'T WANT A NEXT WOMAN FUCKING HER MAN?? I MEAN LIKE REALLY NOW ENUH! SINCE MAN COURT STARTED, I HAVE BEEN READING THE COMMENTS AND SO MANY POVS JUS LEAVE ME TO THIS QUESTION. DOES IT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH FEAR? LIKE FRAID SAY DI NEX WOMAN MIGHT BE BETTER DAN HAR IN BED? FRAID SAY DI MAN MIGHT LIKE DI NEX WOMAN BETTA? ORRR COULD IT BE JUS THE FACT THAT UR MAN IS PRLLY TOUCHING THIS PERSON THE SAME WAY HIM TOUCH YOU? U KNOW LIKE HOW HIM HOOD FI STIFF OFFA SHE AN SHE IS NOT YOU??? ORRR COULD IT JUST BE THE WHOLE BETRAYAL PART??

WE KNOW DAT AS WOMEN, WHEN WE INLOVE OR LOVE WE MAN (CUZ NUFF A WOMAN LOVE BUT NO INLOVE) WHEN WE FIND OUT BOUT DI CHEATING, DI PAIN WEY WE FEEL CANNOT, IS NOT AND IS HARDLY EVERY EXPLAINED - CAN WE TAKE A STAB AT "OUR" VIEWS ON THE WHY A MAN'S CHEATING  REALLY HITS 'THAT' SPOT?

p.s I AM NOT ASKING WHY MEN CHEAT - ME ASK WHY WE FEEL SAY DEM NUFFI CHEAT AN WHY WE FEEL DI WAY WE DO BOUT DI IF/WHEN DEM CHEAT!!!

MAN COURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: HAPPY FLYDAY DEM SAY - DOH??!! WELL, OH WELL - AS THE DAYS GOES BY SO DOES LIFE. SOME PPL WILL/CAN FAKE IT ALL THE WAY THRU BUT I KNOW THE REAL PPL WILL MAKE IT ALL THE WAY THRU. TO ALL THE MAN COURTERS (THOSE WHO COMMENT, THOSE WHO COMMENT AN NO READ IT, THOSE WHO READ ONLY AND ESP. TO THOSE WHO CUT DEM EYE AN SCREW UP DEM FACE) THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT!!! SEE CASE BELOW:

'Hello Man Court. I am 30 years old and have been married since I was 18 years old. This marriage was arranged by my family. My husband is also the same age. They said that I would grow to love him, which I do but not in the husband and wife way. After we got married, we or more so HE has been trying to get me pregnant. I have a birth control (BC) which prevents me from getting pregnant for 5 years at a time. I have so far had 2 abortions which he does not know about and before I discovered this BC! We keep going to different doctors to find out what is wrong with the both us and ofcourse, nothing is wrong with us - prlly just me. I am not ready but I don't know how to tell him. Help me?"

MAN COURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: THIS CASE HAVE A REAL TWIST TO IT. IT SADDENS MY HEART IT'S DIRECTLY A MAN COURT ISSUE BUT FROM MAN INNA IT IS A PROBLEM DON'T? SEE CASE BELOW:

"Good Morning Judge Limit. I hope you post my case. This is not really about my man giving me problems or me giving my man problems but it def. involves my man. When I met my baby father, nutten neva did a gwan fi me. Me and him start life together, we build up we lickle shop, me learn fi drive, we keep some dance an mek some money, we build up we lickle house inna di ghetto and fix it up nice an ting. Me all learn fi drive an we buy a lickle putput fi carry we an di kids dem up an down. One night last year, him and one of my really good friends a mouth each other an me no say nutten, till it turn from mouting to real tracing. Me neva intervene me jus tell dem fi dun it. Dem still an continue an jus outta di blue, him say summen wey mussi really hurt har feelings an she chuck him. Dem start grab up dem one another an next ting me know she stab him inna him chest. Him dead a hospital an she dey a jail. Mi world stop dey so an me almost go crazy. Now me have a mix feelings about the situation, at first me was so angry an say she deserve fi go prison when me look an see how she tek wey di only man from me who was good to me and all. Now, me feel sorry fi her cuz me a say him dun dead an gone an she have har life an her kids to live for. NOWWWWWWWWWW hear dis: me find out say she going for bail again an when/if she get bail she a plan fi run way go one small island. I still talk to her family cuz me an her been friends from we lickle bit - sigh - unu help me nuh?"

MAN COURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: SOMETHINGS IN LIFE NEVER CHANGE! MISTAKES, MISTAKES, MISTAKES - NOBODY NO PERFECT BUT WE MUST ADMIT THAT WE KNOW SAY WE WRONG FROM BEFORE WE MEK DEM! SEE CASE BELOW:

"Good Morning Man Courters and Judge Limit!  I just need some REAL advice. When I was about 19 and living in Jamaica, my boyfriend at the time was 35. Yes I know he was too old for me but he did EVERYTHING for me. This man rich cyan dun!! Years and years passed and we drifted apart. I migrated and we never kept in touch. In 2009, I went to Jamaica for vacation and ran into him and went out for drinks etc. We ended up having sex but just that one time. I felt really ashamed and embarrassed because this was my first time cheating on my husband and I felt really low. When I came home, we kept in touch and I later found out that that this man and my father knew each other really well. When me say keep in touch I don’t mean no sex business just as friends etc. Have to admit, this man help grow me and put me through school. Now, my husband and I are doing some business with this man, which means that they are talking to each other and it is tearing me up inside. I was the one who introduced them and told my husband that he was my dad’s friend and I knew him from I was little. My husband is no fool enuh cuz I can tell he is sensing something else. Should I tell him the truth about my relationship with this man? I am very afraid that my husband will leave me esp since he knows the man now and have been talking with him OR should I let it be how it is now afterall, tjhis man and I are done for good – whatever relationship we have now is just business."

ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

MAN COURT IN SESSION; ALL RISE: WHA GWAN MAN COURT?? DEM STILL NO LIKE SEE WE BUT WE NEVA SEE DEM YET!! ABAYYYYYYYYY WE A TALK WE MIND!!

"if someone send u a link of a girl on facebook n say yuh man deh wid di person den days lata yuh man ask yuh fi send a email from him phone n yuh si a bbm pop up from the girl saying 'baby call me' how would u handle it"

MAN COURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: UNU TINK WHEN OLD TIME PPL SAY WHAT REACHES YOU REACHES ME IS A JOKE??? TINK AGAIN - SEE CASE BELOW:

"Good day Man court! Me an 4 of my girlfriends always go away on our lickle vacation once a year – just us gals. Whatever happens on the trips stays on the trips!! And I mean, whatever happens. At first it was just really about having fu, relaxing, shopping and what not. Then, it turned into vacation boyfriends etc. We’ve been making these trips for over 6 years now. We are all very married with children. Most recently, I found out that one of my trip buddy, is sleeping with my husband. Yup – she very much a fuck him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I confront of her she will tell my husband about our trip which means she will be busted too and I don’t know if she already told my husband about the trip and he’s just not saying anything. But me find out say she an me husband well all go pon trip together too – Karma?"

INTERMISSION: GO CBAR GO!!!

Like an ancient river flowing
From the mountain to the sea
So we follow, coming, going
To the wider life to be.
On our course from the source
To the wider life to be.

CHORUS:
Here Sir!, hereSir!, hereSir!, hereSir!
So we answer near or far
Here Sir!, hereSir!, hereSir!, hereSir!
At the call of Calabar

One by one and as they name us
Forth we go from boyhood's rule
Sworn to be renowned and famous
For the honour of the school
True as steel, in our zeal
For the honour of the school.

So today and oh, if ever
Duty's voice is ringing clear
Bidding men to brave endeavour
We will answer we are here
Come what will, good or ill
We will answer we are here.

MAN COURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: APRIL'S FOOL OR TOM FOOL'S DAY?? LOL OH DI OL DAYS...LAWD CHAMPS TUN UP AN ME KNOW EVERYBODY HAVE DEM FAVORITE SCHOOL BUT RIGHT NOW AN FOREVER MORE CBARRRRRRR ME SAY OHHHHHHH - SEE CASE BELOW:

"Good Morning Judge Limit an fellow Man Courters. Judge, me wan you dash out da one yah pon a Friday cuz me wan dip pl dem log on good an proper. Me inna one lickle dilma an need some advice. My boyfren from school days an me link up back. Him live a England an me live a New York. Me still like him an ting but him nah no money an him want me fi come look fi him ova dey. Him nah work, him cyan buy me ticket an him look like him have a chicken farm ova dey to! Anyways, me meet one a Jamaican baller dem over dere (nah call no name) a bay money di Balla a sen on crazy. Him no stop inna me skin fi come look fi him an ting. Ofcourse him sen di $ fi me buy di ticket. Come to find out say him now my fren from school days good. Dat ago look a way if me go ova dey go look fi somebody else don’t? So me spen off di money an him sell him a card. First him did vex but den him calm dung an sen a ticket dis time. Me no know what fi do – me like di 2 a dem but one have it more as a matter of fact din ex one don’t have 2 pennies fi rub togedda. Me feel away yah…"