Thursday, May 26, 2011

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: SOME A UNU NEED FI UNDERSTAN UNU BAXIDE SELF!! KNOW UR RIGHTS PPL - YUH CYAAN INNA FARRIN LAND AN NO UNDERSTAND DI RULES AN KNOW WHERE TO TURN; SEE CASE BELOW:

"Good Morning ManCourt. I need desperately need your advice. I been with my now husband for 3 years. We have been for married 10 months. He helped me to get my Green Card or Temporary Green Card. About 2 + months ago I went through his phone and found a text from dis girl saying she tiad fi go hotel and see dem a plan fi meet up on the Saturday.  Me neva say nutten to him. My big sister asked him to watch the kids for her Saturday cuz she was working late and him say yes. All she a call him Saturday he was nowhere to be found and didn’t show up till Sunday nite. I work as a live in caregiver from thurs-mon so me neva dey home when all dis a gwan. Anyways, when me come home, me go tru him phone again an see di same girl text him a pic of himself snoring. Me still no say nutten. When me a leave fi go back a work – him a text me an me nah ansa. Den him text me an say “I guess since you nah ansa me fi jus get me tings dem den” jus so enuh an u see tru me have dis anger built up, me tell him fi go get him tings dem an leave me key! And so he di but him neva leave me key. Him text me back an say him tek up di Green Card an him ago carry it in to Immigration. Him have di card bout 2 months now an say him nah gimme it back unless me get inna him good grace an how me a act up over foolishness cuz him an di girl a jus fren an him drop asleep ova har yawd. Honestly, me not even a worry bout no green card cuz how me feel now jus mek me wan run way lef him an di card."


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

MAN COURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: GOOD MORNING MY LOYAL MANCOURT FOLLOWERS! NUFF A DEM SAD WHEN DEM FIND OUT SAY DEM ANO GOD - ABAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"Good Morning Man Court and Judge Limit. Please see if you can help me figure this one out. One of my husband's co-worker and really close friend has started being a little too friendly with me, to the point where it is now making me uncomfortable. It started out with innocent hellos, and funny text forwards. Now, he has started texting me really late at nights like 1am and esp. when he knows my husband is working out of town. His compliments are starting to sound like pick up lines for eg. he'd say things like, "I'm the type he can see himself with etc etc". So far, I have stopped responding to his texts and is trying really hard to ignore him. I haven't said anything to my hubby yet cuz he thinks highly of this person and I know it's gonna make him really upset and I don't want him to lose his job. Please tell me what to do. Thanks."

Thursday, May 19, 2011

MAN COURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: GOOD DAY ALL. I HAVE BEEN GETTING NUMEROUS EMAILS AN MSGS FROM PPL WHO FEEL SAY UNU NAH REALLY GIVE NO ADVISE PON DI CASE DEM UNU JUS A TALK UP DI TINGS DEM WEY NO RELATED. WHILE 'SOME' HUMOUR IS FUN AN GIGGLEABLE (IF DAT IS EVEN A WORD) WE MUS MEK SURE SAY WE NAH NEGLECT OUR ROLE AS THE ADVISE GIVER - SEE CASE BELOW:

"Good Morning Judge Limit and Mancourters. Me no understand dem man here enuh. Imagine, me have a lickle man or so me did tink. No relationship no perfect, we have we ups and downs. Bout a month ago me lickle sista link me an say how my man dey pon Facebook a pose off wid woman an bay tings. Me dey pon facebook too enuh but him is not pon my friends’ list. Him page no private still so when me go look – a crazy pics me see – him an one gal from di states inna crazy pics a pose off wid captions bout ‘me an me baby’, ‘me an wifey’ an dem very recent too – me wan know a when she come Jamaica f idem tek dem picture here cuz dem very recent. When me confront him, dis a wey him say to me ‘DAT GIRL IS MY TICKET OUTTA JAMAICA AN ME NAH MEK NOBODY STOP DAT…ME NO CARE A WHO!!!’ Me ago leave it dey so an mek di Court decide"



Wednesday, May 18, 2011

MAN COURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: OFF TO A LATE START BUT BETTA LATE DAN NEVA - HOWDY MY MAN COURTERS!!! SEE BIG CASE MANAGEMENT BELOW: PLS GIVE UP DI ADVISE DEM CUZ DI LADY WANT IT FI LICKLE MORE

"Good Day Judge Limit and ManCourters. Me tiad a di same ol BS everyday wid da man yah wey me dey wid. Everyday is something new and something else. Me no know if unu remember di 1st case me did sen it in. Di one wey him tell lie bout him inna accident an when me walk go look wey him claim say di accident happen not accident nutten an all me a call him, him nah ansa den him come home bout him an cousin did a reason. Anyways, Monday nite me an him a fold up some clothes an ting. Him get inna dis heat bout phone lock off an him neva notice ray ray ray. Me neva did a tek notice but den di house phone ring an is fi him call so when me go fi gi him di house phone me see him downstairs pon him cell a try talk inna him throat. Me jus in time fi hear him a tell di person bout we son an him school an how di school work etc. Me neva too penny it – me jus see di phone here. Me gwan linga linga downstairs now an hear him start talk bout me now like di person a ask how we get we son inna da school dey u know – so right away me figure is somebody wey know bout me an him den right? Cuz dem a ask bout me an me son.

Me wid my nuff self hear a woman vice an ask him a who dat – him say a somebody a ask him summen. So me ask if a somebody wey me know an him blaze up long time say XXX him fren baby madda an tru she a plan fi move she wan know bout di school me say alright den so wha di secret fah den. Plus wha day me did a look fi a number fi XXX too cuz she have some dvd fi me wey me lend har. Dis morning now (Wednesday), me it neva sit well wid me so me ask him fi gimme XXX number mek me call har bout di dvd. Him a scroll roun an a buck shuffle den gimme one numba. When me call it numba no exist – no not in service enug ‘NOT ASSIGNED’. So me say to him say no man wrong numba dis – an start help him look fi di number inna him phone from May 16 (me know say a after 9 inna di night so a dat time frame me a look inna) buck up pon a nex numba now an him say a it dat so me call it – gal say she no name XXX an have crazy attitude too enuh. But right away me pick up di vice. So me tell him say wrong number again an him start say a da # dey she call him pon an is fi har numba. So me call it back infront of him an di ask di gal if she know him, she say no. So me start say to him say wid di gal pon di phone a wrong numba dis man an start bawl out him name. Hear di gal pon speaker phone bout yes me know him an him wife like she tink she smart – me jus tell har say me no wan hear nutten from she cuz when she fi know him she neva him an hang up. Me jus walk off lef him. But me no know right now how fi approach it cuz me know it no done a rass. Me did wan call har back but me feel like say him dun call har aready when me leave."


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

MAN COURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: GOOD MORNING GENKLE PPL...NO WORD OF A LIE...GOD HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME, A BAY PRAISES ME A SING TO HIM STR888 - DEM NEVA DID A LIE WHEN DEM SAY JESUS NEVER FAILS!!!

"Good Day Mancourters and Judge Limit. I don't know how to word dis widout sounding an makin myself confused! My husband asked me a questions 2 days ago an all now me cyaan answer. Me an him have mutual friends, right, an dis 1 fren in particular XXX, is here an she no have no docs. She been here bout 7 or so years no an have one lickle boy. We've been very helpful to her and I met her tru my husband. They grow up together. Bottom Line is; my husband wants to marry her so that he can help her. How dat ago work now when me an him dun married aready. Dis mean say, him ago haffi divorce me den married she don't? So many things ago tru me head now. Me like har an everyting enuh but dis don't sound right at all - dis a madness. Any advise I will gladly take. Thanks in advance"

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: TODAY'S LESSON - BEWARE OF THE WICKEDNESS AROUND YUH - THE DEVIL IS REAL AND COME INNA ALL SHAPES AN FORMS - NOBODY NAH GO TRUST NO MAN WID 2 TEETH FORK AN TAIL BUT DEM WILL TRUST WELL DRESSED AND PRETTY SMILE - CAREFUL!!

"Good Day Judge Limit. Me jus ago get str8 to di point an dun. 9 years ago when me 1st meet my man, bout 4 months into it me find out say him dey wid next girl too. When me ask him, him say him know har from long time an nutten like dat. After bout 3 years into di relationship, him move in wid me an me an him live from eversince. Last week now, me get a call from di same girl from 9 years ago a tell me fi tell him say 'fi look out fi di papers' when me ask har which papers, she say di divorce one an how she an him married 8 years now!! How can you married to a man you an no live wid him? Apparently all dis time, she neva know say a me an him live she tink him live by himself. But even if dat a true too, u nah go sleep ova your husband place? Me find out say di woman have a bag a pickney, some a dem all my age but none fi him (me nah believe nutten him say). When me confront him, him say a from long time dat. So me ask him why him married har cuz she a citizen an him a citizen so a couldn't fi papers - hear di dutty man...di woman have house so him can get 50% a it. Me pack him up an put out him nasty rass but dats is just step one still - 9 years wid a person is a long time esp when kids involve u know dem way dem an di last baby me have fi him a 10 months old."


Monday, May 9, 2011

MAN COURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: UNU IS A SET BY UNUSELVES! UNU CARRY ON BAD, UNU DO UNU ONE ANEDDA BAD - KEEP DI BIG DUTTY MAN COURT DISGRACE AT A MINIMAL PLS - DO ME A BEG UNU..MINE UNU MEK DI INTERNET PPL DEM COME AFTA ME LIKE RAGGA..SEE CASE BELOW:

"Good Day Judge Limit. Me wan know wha fi do cuz me confuse, fraid and comin like me out fi mad too all in one. After 5 years with someone you would think you know this person inside out don't? Well, my man is a big man - 20 years my senior and last nite me jus couldn't believe wha happen when me an him a get it on. Imagine, me an my man claim say we a have sex an si man push him finger inna my B***! Me jump up an say no man, wey u a do an him say him a try summen new. Me say to him, suppose a me did a try summen new an do dat to him an di man say "DAT ANO NUTTEN!!" You honour pleaseeeeeeeee help me, me not even sure if me hear right - di man a say him wouldn't mind if me push my finger inna him B*** don't? Den him a try F*** again, me jus tell him say my vibes bruk enuh cuz me no know wha else him will mek smaddy put inna fi him own. Bottomline (LOL), me need some tips on how to proceed cuz nutten like dis neva happen to me yet enuh an me jus wan hear wha Man Court have to say too cuz me know dem no ramp fi talk dem mind. Bless"


Friday, May 6, 2011

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: UNU NO HAVE NO BEHAVIOR!! LOOK HOW UNU DO DI PLACE BOUT UNU A PROTEST - ISH PART UNU STAY AN VOTE? DAT ME WAN KNOW! TRY NO BADDA FEEL LIKE A TRU ME FRAIDA A UNU ME A DROP TIDAY CASE OH!

"Good Day Judge Limit. I am 23 years old and have been seeing this guy who is 28 for more than 3 months now. We haven't slept together yet because I don't want to add anymore to my list of ppl I already slept with. He says he understands but everytime we chill, he pressures me into having sex or doing something with him. Last time we hung out, I was on my period so he knew we couldn't do anything. Yet, he still insisted on me giving him head. I was reluctant at first cuz he was the only one going to enjoy it but later I gave in and did it. Of lately, he constantly text me dirty msgs which he didn't before and he wants us to have phone sex and all his texts since then are about sex or sexual contents. I told one of my friends what happened and she says when he gets the nookie he's gonna be done with me so I should just leave him alone. I am coonfused about what to do because I really like him but I am just not sure. Did I make a mistake by pleasing him? Thank you for all your advice!"