MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: TODAY'S CASE IS A FOLLOW UP TO A CASE POSTED ON MARCH 25, 2011 - OL TIM EPPL DEM USE TO SAY WHA SWEET NANNY GOAT AGO RUN HIM BELLY - SO SIMMA DUNG OR GOD AGO SIMMA YUH!!! SEE CASE AN LINK BELOW:

Good Morning Judge Limit and Mancourters. More than a year ago, I sent in a case involving my mother (click link fi refresh memory: http://mancourt.blogspot.ca/2011/03/man-court-is-in-session-all-rise.html)

Fi hell she won't leave di man. This morning about after 2am me get a urgent call from har, say some lady jus call har say her her common-law husband tek sick an she fi run go. About two hours after me get the phone call, me get another phone call from har say, when she reach di location, di man stiff out an a flatta at one HOTEL!!! Nuh di man woman wey him an har go di Hotel call me madda. Di woman say him tek VIAGARA an den him heart start to race an him tell di woman fi call him woman cuz him cuz she will know what to do. Me tell har say to tell dem to call 119 cuz she cyaan help an she must gwan home. But nooooo, she fling di man inna har car an carry him go emergency hospital fi avoid di "shame" she say - but me wan know - SHAME PON WHO???

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: WE BACK PON DI SOLVING DI MAN PROBLEMS DEM AGAIN...WHAT A WORLD EE MAN..LONG TIME NOW ME NO HEAR FROM NO MAN BOUT WHA DEM WOMAN UP TO SO PLS ME A BEG UNU FI SEN ON DI CASES DEM - SEE CASE BELOW:

Good Morning Judge Limit and Mancourters.  I recently got married back in December 2011. Everything was fine until about 2 months ago. Me notice say when him a go anywhere him nah invite me to go wid him. Den wha night yah inna di 3am, him get a text from dis girl. Him delete what him text har say so me only coulda see fi har text to him an she say “ sorry boo, was sleeping, are you still up?” So me text har back “no”, Couple days later me text har again from fi him phone an ask when me can see har again an she say anytime him want. Me an him war bout it an him say she is nobody an how she have har man.

Anyways, we did get invitation to a wedding on the Wedding was on Saturday. Me dey yah a get ready and a fix up den him ask me wey me a go an say him nah carry me. So him alone get dress an bush like pussfoot an gone to the ‘reception’ by himself. Me smell a rat enuh an me jus want some solid advice pon how fi work di angle wey me have cuz watch me and him. Thanks

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: HAPPY FRIDAY TO ALL MY READERS :) LIFE CAN BE HARD AT TIMES BUT TRY JESUS 1ST BEFORE U TRY A GAL OR A BWOY - TRY HIM! SEE CASE BELOW: (p.s. I have quite a few to say about this case in particular enuh)

Hello Judge Limit and Fellow mancourters. I am a regular reader of mancourt blog and have decided to submit my own lickle problem. Please I am asking you, if you figure out who I am, no badda bawl it out and please don’t be biased. I want everyone’s honest opinion please.

About one month ago, I met this Black guy from out of town. He is now living and working in my city. He has tattoos, drinks and smokes and was locked up for 4 years for extortion. He does not express himself the way I want him to, so it makes m I frustrated. He loves to cycle and goes to the gym everyday.

On Saturday, I met this White guy that lives in my apartment building. I don’t know much about him yet but he wants to go to the lave to have a picnic. I am not sure what the hell to talk to him about tho but he seems very nice. He drinks too, he’s extremely active, skateboard, cycling and when we met he was bleeding from the leg down.

The problem is, both of them are extremely adventurous while I am laid back. The black guy brings this whole new emotional excitement while the white guy is silly and humorous. Really sweet. I am confused because I really like the black guy but if things don’t work out, I don’t want to miss out on the white guy.

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: 2 CASE IN ONE DAY IS NOT DI USUAL ANYMORE ENUH BUT I HAVE TO LISTEN TO MY JURORS! A BAY TINGS A GWAN A WUL YAH ENUH...DI END HAS GOT TO BE NEAR - SEE CASE BELOW:

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: SOMETIMES INNA LIFE WOMEN FI CAREFUL OF THE DEPTHS AND STEPS THEY ARE WILLING TO GO TO PLEASE A MAN AN MAKE HIM HAPPY! SOME MEN MEK ME WAN RIP OUT ME HAIR AN IT NO REALLLLL!! SEE CASE BELOW:

Good Morning Judge Limit and Mancourters. Me jus ago get straight to di point. 6 years ago when I met my husband, he was in the US illegally and I married him to help him get his papers. Anyways, about 3 years ago  he said he wants to send for his brother but we couldn’t find anyone to marry him an bring him here. Long story short, WE decided that we would get a divorce and I would fly to Jamaica and marry his brother and bring him here. We do all dat then when his ‘brother’ came here, everyting change an me mean everything! Before his brother came, he would say things like, if me ago leave him fi him brother now and what if his brother want a piece if me would give him. Jus pure off key statements a mek.

Anyways, the brother reach and both a dem start gwan like me is dem slave an me obligated to them. My 1^st husband, end up losing his job cuz him spending all this time with him brother a party an nah go work or when him do go to work – him reach late an not sober. The brother jus a gwan wid pure antics, every night almost a different woman inna di apartment (thank goodness we no have no kids here) an some of these girls fava lickle pickney. When me talk to me real husband bout it, him create one big scene an say me a gwan like me want him bredda fi fuck me instead. Me reach di point now, where me jus wan pack up an leave dem but di apartment is in my name (me did buy it) me need unu advice on how to get rid a dem.

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: MANCOURTERS, YESIDEH WE NEVA KIP COURT CUZ IT WAS HOLIDAY PON MY SIDE AN ME DID A REST ME BODY WEY NEARLY RUN DUNG WHOLE WKND! - KEEP UNU EYES OPEN: SEE CASE BELOW:

Good Morning Mancourt. This guy and I have been dating for the past 6 months now. About 2 weeks ago, him find my sex toys stash! Anyways, him ask me why me use dem and say him no understand why a woman would need a toy when she can get di real ting. Me explain that I have been single for a long time without a steady boyfren and das how me please myself. Anyways, about 2 days ago him call me an say him off work early and him gonna meet me at my place, for when me dun work. Me now on the other hand, decided to surprise him an leave work early fi a lickle extra ting, u know.

Anyways, when me walk in, me hear di TV loud loud and is porn a gwan, dat mek me get evenmore excited. When me buss di bedroom door, him inna him boxers alone and him so shocked an him face white like him jus see a ghost! Me jusmp pon him an him a try push me off say him wan go use the bathroom but me wouldn’t let him.  Him start get upset an push me off and fly inna di bathroom an slam di door. Me now rush behind him an fly di door – only to see him a tek outta him bottom, my ‘Mr. Skinny’!! Mr. Skinny is my little vibrator that wines 360 times a minute. Now unu tell me?? Di way how me shock, me jus lock back di door an go back on the bed. Him stay in there for a good 30 mins den come out and to my surprise, him start acting normal like me neva see nutten like dat and him even wanted to have sex with me but me jus tell him me no longer feel for it. Him leave di day and me talk to him still but me no want him come back a me place and when me check mi stash too, the “3 balls” one gone!

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: HAPPY FRIDAY MANCOURTERS!!! ME SAY ME EMAIL OVERFLOW WID DI CASES LAWKSSS A SO MUCH PPL INNA MAN PREKAY?? SEE CASE BELOW:

Good Day Judge Limit an Mancourters. Your Honor, me having a serious problem! I met this guy just over 3 months now and we been going out. Very good looking sexy guy, have a nice car and live alone in a nice apartment and have a decent job. Treats me real good and everything. Anyways, me tell him say me have a 3 month rule and me not having sex with him until 3 months after I get to know him. He was fine with it and him never pressure me or anything. We kiss up and get real close but all him stop me sometimes too.

Anyways, we finally decided to do it before the 3 months up cuz nutten no wrong wid him an me have him where me want him. OMGGGGG!! Judge Limit, me not telling no lie! Dis man have di BIGGEST SET A BALLS me eva see inna me life!! OMGGGGG!! Di man have bay balls and no buddy!! One lickle summen a stick out…can I tell you how disappointed I was and still is. Anyways, me say mek we still try cuz probably he knows how to use it and ting. Me start give him a blow job now an jus tru is more balls, me jus focus pond at area dey di most. Me ready now fi di sex part but him still a push me head fig wan suck an lick him balls dem. Den him cum. No fuck, sex no nutten. I don’t know what to do cus me is not a usual balls licker an is like him no want no pumpum. Me need unu advice please.

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: OUR TING TUN UP EVERYWAY, YEA YEA, SOME COURT JUS TUN UP ROUN DEY SO!! BWOY DI JOYS OF RELATIONSHIPS - MR. BIG ANO HOT! SEE CASE BELOW:

Good Day Judge Limit and mancourters! My man have this problem and me no understand why. He has a VERY big penis and when me say big, me mean prlly bout 12 or so inches!! Di only ting is when sex time, it no get stiff enuff! I mean it stiff but it no hard wid di vein dem a show. If me a siddung pon it, him haffi a hold it. Me nah enjoy myself. KMT. Me feel like a man wid a size hood like dat, him ting shoulda tun up. Me not even get excited anymore fi it cuz it’s not what it looks like. Him know cuz me tell him and everytime we have sex me have to finish off inna di bathroom cuz nutten nah gwan fid a buddy dey! Me fed up! Him jus mek me build up all dis excitement for NOTHING!

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: TODAY DI WAY HOW DI TING SET, LICKLE MOST ME NO REACH DI COURT INNA ONE PIECE BUT ME IS HERE, SO LET'S PROCEED: SEE CASE BELOW:

Good Day Judge Limit and Mancourters. I just love the honesty of this court. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 3 years now and everything is OK, at least I think so. Anyways, we decided to spice things up a little and sexperiment. He said he wanted to try oral sex and I must tell him how it feels and where and where him must lick an suck etc etc. Anyways, when we start, it feels so good an me start wonder if him indeed do it before cuz di way oh him a gwan. Anyways, like him get too excited cuz him start chew it I swear! Him start stretch it out and bite it an all me a tell him say it no feel good him nah listen. I was sore for about 2 days down dere and when me try talk bout it with him, him say we not to discuss it. Nowadays, all him want to do his eat me out but get this, him nah ask me fi do it back to him and what is even more weird, him no want to have sex anymore. It’s so painful and me try stop him when him jus start so we can have sex but him jus get excited when him a do it, bite it up an cum pon himself. Me no know wha fi do anymore cuz it’s unbearable but he really likes it and me a try please him. Help?

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: SIGHHHHHH!! MEN, MEN, MEN...DAS WHY DA COURT YAH HAFFI DEY BOUT ENUH CUZ WE NEED FI OPEN WE EYES WHEN WE INNA A RELATIONSHIP! NOBODY NO BIGGA DAN BUN!! SEE CASE BELOW:

Good Morning Judge Limit. I was talking to one of my friends about a problem me an me wife a have and him say I must email Mancourt, so hopefully the court can give me some solid advice. Me an me wife dey togedda a good lickle while now with 2 yute. Me love har me nah  lie and she is a very good woman, good mother but me me ting nah stand up fi har like one time. She come bed inna some big draws and she nah see no period an always tie up har head. She not even wan me play wid har pussy! Everytime me ask har fi spice up tings she say no, she cyan badda. She wan di same way all di time an me jus tired a it.

Now, me find a next girl (no she not younger) and she excite me. Me an har have so much fun togedda but den me wife find out and throw me outta di house. Me still go over an look for the kids an stuff but me jus don’t sleep over. Me still love har but me cyan deal wid di deady deady ting an she no wan try. Let me know what unu tink please. Thanks.

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: TODAY'S CASE A SWEARRRR TEK DI CASE, PILLA AN STUFFINGS (MNL)...TIAD FI TELL UNU WHEN UNU A SEN IN DI CASE DEM, NO SEN NOBODY NAME COME GIMME CUZ ME NO WAN DEM START LOOK FI ME OOOOO!! SEE CASE BELOW:

Judge judge help me deh.....me ave a case fi u

"Me ave a man me tired a him. him is a lil freak. me did cheat pon him and him find out.and everytime him a ask me bout di next man.if him can fuck and if him hood big and all kinda shit.and is like hearing wat I say turn him on!me a wonder if him gay.cause couple time him try sex mi in my bottom but me run him.him all ask me couple time.it did strange wen him did ask me if me want him suck my pussy and even though mi tell him do it if him want him never ask me to suck him hood.me seriously think him lean tho cause is bare lil young bwoy him par wid one at a time den unto another.den me hear him a say one a dem a battyman.so me say "how u know dat".
Den one day me see him a suck a guiness bottle like is a hood.him do it wid him finger too.
Strange thing is him luv hit out againt battyman...ever a bun dem and things.and always a say how him sure 100% a him self wen no one no ask nuttin.
Lawd jesus!!!!
U think him gay??????

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: DADADEEE DADADAAA!! IS NOT WE SAY SO A DI PPL DEM! DASH OUT TIME: SEE CASE BELOW:

Good Morning your honour. I need the Court’s help. Last night somebody send me a bbm fren request an me accept. Me no know a who di person enuh but me still say yes. Di person sen me a pic  and inna di pic me see somebody wey look like my man an dis girl like dem a have lunch or dinner. Me never say nutten afta me get di pic cuz she neva say nutten she jus sen di so-so pic alone. Den as daylight dis mawning, she sen a munch screen wid a convo between my man an some nex girl. So me ask har wha dat mean an who di girl, she no answer, den she delete herself offa me contact list. Me no say nutten to di man yet enuh cuz me wan get di story str8 first but all now me cyan get a hold a who sen di pic to begin wid. How unu tink me must angle dis now?

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: MANCOURTERS DEM WAN KNOW HOW WE DO IT BUT WE DID IT!! WE NAH STOP TALK DI TRUTH CUZ DI TRUTH MUST SET UNU FREE! DIRTY PPL LEF WE....SEE CASE BELOW:

Welcome Back Judge Limit! I am glad the court is back because I have a pressing issue. My wife and I cannot conceive together. Nothing is wrong with me and nothing is wrong with her but we just not compatible. She and I adopted a little girl 2 years ago and we are now on our second adoption of another little girl. I thought everything is good up until last week when mi wife doctor call and left a message. Di message say, she need to pick up her birth control prescription. Now unu tell me, if me cannot breed har, WHY SHE NEED BIRTH CONTROL? She neva say nutten to me bout dis so me can only assume say she have a nex man an tru she no want him breed har she a protect herself – don’t??

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: WOIIIIII UNU COME YAH DEY! FUSS IN DI HISTRIE OF DI COURT WE HAVE DI ODDA PARTY RESPONSE! DI HUSBAND SAY HIM WAN FI HIM SIDE BE KNOW AN ME NEVA TAKE OUT OR ADD ANYTING, SAME SO HIM SAY! WE NAH TEK NO SIDES :

JUDGE LIMIT, I DON'T KNOW YOU AND YOU DON'T KNOW ME EITHER BUT YOU ALL UP IN MY BUSINESS. MY SO-CALLED WIFE JUST CALLED MY ATTENTION TO YOUR BLOG AND THE COMMENTS FROM YOUR READERS (WHO DON'T KNOW THE FULL STORY) ARE VERY DISRESPECTFUL. NOT THAT I OWE ANY OF YOU ANYTHING BUT SHE FIRST BRING IT HERE SO IT'S ONLY FAIR THAT ME TELL MY SIDE OF THIS STORY TOO.

 I MET MY WIFE 26 YEARS AGO,WHEN I MET HER SHE ALREADY HAVE 5 KIDS..MYSELF HAD TWO KIDS THE LAST ONE 7 MONTHS AND HER THE SAME.WHEN I MET HER I WAS STILL LIVING WITH MY FIRST BABY MOTHER...ANYWAY WE FELL IN LOVE AND DECIDE TO START OUR LIVES TOGETHER, FRESH AND BRAND NEW... AS TIME PASSED WE HAD 2 KIDS TOGETHER....WE LIVED TOGETHER EVER SINCE TAKING CARE OF HER KIDS LIKE MY OWN...LIKE ALL RELATIONSHIP IT HAD ITS UP N DOWN..DURING THE RELATIONSHIP SHE CHEATED AND GOT PREGNANT FOR ANOTHER MAN..I ACCEPTED THE CHILD AND TOOK CARE OF THE CHILD LIKE MY OWN...DURING THE RELATIONSHIP I GAVE MY FAMILY MY BEST... TEN YEARS IN THE RELATIONSHIP WE DECIDED TO GET MARRIED..I MUST SAY IT HAD MORE DOWNS THAN UPS BUT I NEVER GAVE UP BECAUSE I BELIEVED IN DOING WHATEVER IT TAKE TO KEEP MY HOUSEHOLD TOGETHER...BUT DEEP INSIDE I WAS NOT HAPPY...AS A WIFE SHE NEVER SUPPORTED ME AS A WIFE SHOULD. THREE YEARS AGO I BECAME FRIENDS WITH THIS YOUNG LADY. AT FIRST WE WERE NEVER INTIMATE. SHE WAS KIND TO ME AND MADE ME FELT AS IF SHE REALLY AND TRULY CARED FOR ME, SOMETHING THAT WAS MISSING AT HOME. AS TIME WENT BY WE STARTED HANGING OUT AND GOING ON DATES. ANY WAY LONG STORY SHORT THE YOUNG LADY BECAME MY GIRLFRIEND AND THEN I FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT . THE RELATIONSHIP AT HOME WAS VERY BROKEN AND I FELT SEPARATED FROM MY WIFE, BECAUSE OF THIS I TOLD MY GIRLFRIEND I WAS INDEED SEPARATED AND IN THE FUTURE WOULD SEEK A DIVORCE. OVER TIME I TOLD MY WIFE ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND AND CHILD, SHE WAS PISSED HOW CAN SHE FORGET SHE DID THE SAME THING A FEW YEARS AGO..TELLING HER TO LEAVE AT FIRST WAS PROBABLY A MISTAKE, SO NOW THE COURTS WILL DECIDE. I AM SEEKING MY DIVORCE AND WISH TO BE A FATHER TO MY YOUNG CHILD, I DO LOVE MY FAMILY BUT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS NOW I AM HAPPY.IN LIFE NO ONE IS PERFECT.

A YAH SO NICE!!!!

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: OL' TIME PPL ALWAYS SAY NOT EVERYTING WEY GLITTER IS GOLD AN IT IS SOOO TRUE!! IN DIS LIFE U HAVE TO TEK EVERYTING SERIOUS! NUFF A UNU ALL UP INNA DI KOOL-AID!! SEE CASE BELOW:

Me an my husband live together for more than 15 years and married fi 11. We have 5 kids together plus him have 2 from a previous relationship. Di whole 8 a we live inna di same house fi years now. Anyways, 2 nights ago him come home an say him need fi talk to di family. Him say, we need to find somewhere else to live, because him girlfriend soon have baby an him no wan she fi live inna him house, she an him. All now me feel like me a dream! Him say him a give us till the end of the month to come out cuz him no wan she move in before di baby born. When me ask him where him expect me an di kids dem to go, him say, him no know an him no care an me fi figure it out like him last babymadda wey him did put out an tek in me! Den him say him nah come back to the house till we leave. Me no know wha fi do. Me wan jus come out an gi him di place but den again me wan stay an mek him go find somewhere else fi live. Advice please ~sigh~

MANCOURT IS IN SESSION; ALL RISE: WOIIIIIIIIIII UNU COME YAH LICKLE BIT DEY...WOIII MY GAWDDDDD! A YAH SO SPICY!! DIS BEAT EVERY HEAVYWEIGHT, EVERY TYKLE!! MANCOURTERS, ME KNOW A LONG TIME NO COME ROUN BUT TODAY IS DI DAY AN ME SWEAR SAY ME SEE AN HEAR IT ALL BUT DIS YAH CASE YAH RIP AN TEAR UP ANYTING MY EYES AN EARS EVA BEHOLD! SEE CASE BELOW: IT A SWEAT ME OOOOOOOO

Good Morning Judge Limit, me have a serious problem wey me need help wid. Me have a cousin wey a 18 an him gwan like a gal till dip pl dem all nick name him “DORA”! We live inna one a di bad garrison dem wey everybody know an it have a wicked reputation. Now, about 2 wks ago, him come to me in confidence an say one a di top bad man dem inna di area, a fuck him off a night time!!! Him say a night time di bwoy hide an come tru him winda an fuck him an mek him do di tings dem. Di way how me shock me not even know wha fii do cuz him a say him cyan tek it no more cuz him doh want di bwoy an tru is a badman him no wan him fi kill him! Last night when him a come from class, me hear one big uproar an when me run out me see me cousin a bawl an a hold him hand, say di same ‘fucka man’ see him a come down di road an say ‘battybwoy u nuffi walk yah so’ den gi him a rass lick wid a 2x4 an bruk di hand. Me cousin say him ago lock him up an him ago buss out everyting. Lawd we ago haffi move an pack up…me need di jurors advice please.

MANCOURT IS NOW IN SESSION; ALL RISE: HAPPY NEW YEAR!! MI SAY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MANCOURTERS! WID DI NEW HERE, ME WAS HOPING DAT SOME PPL WOULD DASH AWAY DEM DIRTY LIFE AN CLEAN UP DEM NASSY ACT BUT I GUESS WIDOUT DEM DERE CAN BE NO MANCOURT SO LET US TRY DI CASE! SEE CASE BELOW:

Your Honour, Happy New Year! Me jus ago give to di court straight an dun! My baby jus turn 9 months old an is pure problems wid me an di fadda - AREADY! See di ting is, him married. Me an him been seeing each other fi a good year an add before me get pregnant, we used to play by di rules an me did know from di get go say him hands tied - but dat neva stop him or me. Hear di dilema part now. All now my baby no register because him doh want it register inna fi him name an di man jus get scarce pon me me cyaan see him an him no come by none at all. Me haffi go uppa wey him work go lay wait him. Him a claim say me tell him say me pregnant when it too late an him cyaan mek him wife know say him have outside children cuz she ago lef him an tek him tings wey him work hard fah.

Me cyaan understan him none at all - why as pickney come inna di picture dem haffi hide? My child ago now suffer from not having a strong relationship wid the father and other siblings. Me heart a hurt me, me know a neva my man but situations change an him need fi now change his situations fi accomodate wi as best as him can. Me no know wey fi do but my child have to right fi grow up wid a father - all if me an him no dey. Yes, Your Honour - even if him have to share him!